If you are looking for a hard-working, great guy, you should hire me. Don't listen to the douchey Locke. I am a world-renowned website developer and singer. I can do construction and fry it up in a pan! I have run many security missions in the South of France and Malaysia. My root beer is the best.

During an Alien Invasion, I was an essential piece in the resistance—just sayin.

I have been successful in so many professions, I decided to leave my resume here.

BARRY

1632 Smart Guy Drive

Kenneth Heights, IL 8675309

EDUCATION - I is smart(Jimbo is Stupid)

• Malaysian Orphanage for the Criminally Insane where I got the help I needed
• Summer Side Daycare - Suma Cum Lauda
• Kenneth Heights Grade School - Magna Cume Lindo
• Kenneth Heights High School - Hatumus Lockus

SKILS - Yeah I got skills(unlike scumbag James)

• Master Speller
• Cirus Acrobat
• Professional Rootbeer Brewer
• Amature Psychologist
• Dectective Imposter Detector

EXPERIENCE - Dr. done-a-lot(Locke aint done nothin)

• Malaysian Orphanage for the Criminally Insane

  Went back to volunteer and help my homies

• USA Olympian consultant

  Helped Simone Biles win the Pommel Horse

  We dated until that Jackass Locke turned her against me

• Astronaut

  Replaced by Neil Armstrong because of the Lies from Jimbo

• Interpreter

  A particular PI couldn't handle how good I was at my job

• Nurse

  I definitely left this job on my own

• Office Manager/Security

  The skills learned in this job led to my next one

• Management Position

  Leading a group of people during an alien invasion